It’s not easy failing. As an adult I do it often and sometimes find it quite embarrassing. Failing is a lot of hard work. For kids, failing is a necessary, down-in-the-trenches, dirty hard work known to most of us as “child’s play”. Most of the time kids don’t worry too much about failing. They’re too busy taking on their daily challenges. Sometimes they break down in frustration and throw a toy across the room. Sometimes they re-route their attempts through negotiations. Sometimes they refuse to approach the target again. Sometimes they give up. For them, failure is not an option and avoiding failure at all costs is preferable to trying ever again. It takes guts to try. It takes guts to put your ego on the line.
It starts early. An infant makes countless attempts to rollover. Each time he’s strengthening those little abdominal muscles. Most times he fails at reaching his goal of rolling over. Sometimes he cries in frustration and who can blame him? It’s hard work…just try working your abs in the gym.
Parents and caregivers are on the sidelines. No one can do this work for the baby. This is only the baby’s job. Nevertheless, parents and caregivers offer verbal encouragement to the baby. One day, facing possible failure again, he makes it and finds he’s on the other side of himself. Success at last. Failure is all but forgotten as he moves on to the next challenge.
Parents and teachers focus on reaching goals. The books we read about child rearing and early childhood education help us form an understanding in our minds about milestones to be met and timelines we should watch for in young children. All these guidepost are important. Indeed we need to give them our attention.
But while we are paying attention to normal development and sequencing, we are allowed to step back often to appreciate the great efforts put forth by our learners. We are allowed to see the person first and to know the personality. We are allowed to momentarily set aside our need to reach a goal. We are allowed to connect on the human level and to see the individual.
After we have an overall appreciation for the person, we are more likely to be able to appreciate the person as a learner. Now, as a teacher, how can we design the mini-steps our learner will need to reach his goal?
If we are wanting our child to speak, do we provide multiple opportunities for receptive language? Are we maximizing our verbal interactions with the child? Have we paid attention, really paid attention, to the feedback the child is giving us? Have we fully appreciated all the auditory recognition and sorting out that goes into the child trying, failing, and trying again to figure out what is expected?
Failing is to be expected and expected and expected. And repeated failing is to be accepted and encouraged as a tool to reach the goal. Ask any researcher how many times he has failed and you may be surprised. We generally don’t report failure; we often report success.
As teachers of the young, and as role models for their parents, we can champion all the “trying” and “failing” that goes on each day. We can encourage all the attempts children need to make to reach their goals even if those attempts turn out to be incorrect. Our goal is to keep the child engaged in the process. Positive classroom messages celebrating attempts at problem solving give students the permission they need to try over and over to reach their goals.
The confident teacher can set the safe academic climate in her classroom that encourages children to try and fail until they reach success. It’s the trying that is more important than the failing or the succeeding. A teacher’s open appreciation for the learners tenacity reaches well beyond the classroom walls.
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